Confused? Yes... very.

I wore my new, black pencil skirt, my fancy shirt with ruffles, and my black high heeled shoes for my interview.

I interviewed.. and I think it went well.

They asked me some hard questions. They asked, "What was one experience you had during clinicals where you had to deal with a difficult family member or difficult patient and how did you handle the situation?" They asked, "How would you deal with a coworker who doesn't take care of his/her patients and just sits on the computer all day long?" And I fumbled my way through my answers.

And then they asked me reversal agents. Yes, pharmacology questions. Something I was not prepared for. But I survived.

Allllllllll of that to say... I AM SO CONFUSED.

Camp nurse? ICU nurse? Wait around for a Children's position to open?

i. do. not. know. And I'm so tiiiiiiiiired of being confused.

I need God to stand next to me and shout in my ear what the right answer is. Or write it down on a sticky note. Or put a message on my bathroom mirror with the right answer. And I know that He knows the right answer and that whatever happens is for good and that it's what I'm supposed to do.. but what if it's not. What if the decision I make is the wrong decision? What if I'm miserable because I decide to go with option A and option B was what would make me happy?

I like black and white. And right now I'm seeing a whooooooooooole lot of grey.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

content

Content. Being content. Contentedness.

Considering everything in my life that I am blessed with, it's amazing to me how hard I find it to just simply be content.

When I was in high school, I wanted to be in college.

In college, I always looked forward to graduation.

Now with graduation in just 19 days, I'm scared and I want to turn back time to 3 years ago.

I long to be engaged.

I'm sure once I get engaged, I will count down the days, hours, minutes, seconds to being married.

Why is it that I always find it so difficult to be okay with what I have right now? I am beyond blessed with 2 amazing, loving, by-my-side sisters, an adoring Mom who goes over and beyond to provide for us 3 girls, a boyfriend who has loved me for the past 7 years, a college degree (basically) from an outstanding University, a close-knit group of friends, and even friends living across the country from me. I should look at my life and constantly thank God for blessing me abundantly.

I didn't think it would be so hard to just be... content.

So, my prayer for myself, and for everyone else who feels like they are in the same boat... May we be content with where we are now. Because whether I feel like I deserve 10x what I have, or whether I am amazed by all that God has blessed me with, I have what I have and I should be grateful for it because it is more than I deserve.

So I have to make some tough choices this week. So it's not going to be easy for me to commit to something because I hate making commitments. So I may end up making a decision that changes what I've planned for me and my life for the last 2 years. That's okay... right? Right. And I'll be content in my decision.

Promise.

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11-13

Catch-up blog!

Hello everyone! I've decided I'm not the best at this whole blogging thing.. I don't make myself sit down and do it but about once a week, so it's not very entertaining I'm sure. But that's okay! Better than nothing I suppose :)

This week has been busy busy busy. I did my final 8-in-a-row for precepting (only ONE day left!). It is going to be so sad leaving the Pediatric floor. If I had it my way, a position would open up on the floor and I would get a job working on that unit. But, things don't always go the way I want them to, so I guess I'll just have to soak up my last day and enjoy it as much as I can. I remember thinking that 225 hours was an insane amount of hours and there was no way I'd get them all in, but now that it's over I sort of feel like I haven't been there that long. I mean, the days I work are tiring, but it's sad leaving. I'll have to take some pictures on the floor before I leave so I don't forget... surprising, huh. ME? Taking pictures of nothing but the floor of a hospital?? Shocking.. ;)

So, I finally was able to upload my pictures from forever and ever ago onto Chuck's computer! And I finally can put them up on here. Unfortunately, they are all SOTC (straight off the camera) which drives me INSANE... it's hard for me to not edit pictures before I post them. However, because of my lack of a laptop, I don't have a program to edit them... I'm lucky to be able to just post them at this point. So, ignore the fact that they need to be cropped, red eye needs to be removed, and the lighting needs to be edited... please.

This is during Spring Break in Destin! Cameron (who didn't put on her sunglasses, obviously), me, and Kim :)

Out to eat at Back Porch. If you've ever been in the city of Destin, FL and didn't eat at this restaurant while you were there, you are ridiculous.

St. Patrick's Day! Me and Big J before going to eat at McGuire's Irish Pub.

Me and the boy :)

Waiting (for 2 hours, might I add) for a table! It was so much fun. People were eeeeeeverywhere! I'd never seen a restaurant so crowded before in my life. But it was so much fun.

Silly boys.

Me, Kim, and Chuck... who pulls off the creepy leprechaun look pretty well.

The group at the table!

Me and Kim.

I look rough... but Chuck looks cute.

So, what else is new. Emily went to prom not too long ago! I drove up to Hoover right after getting out of the hospital one day to help her do her hair and finish getting ready. She went with a guy named Andy, and she looked GORGEOUS! Amy and I always joke that Emily was blessed with all the good genes in the family.. and it just might be true.

Emily and Andy.

Me and Emily.. I like how Emily is extra pretty because it's prom and I'm extra dirty cause I'd been at the hospital all day. Makes for such a great picture.... haha

Here are some random pictures that I took one day while Kim and I went out on the quad and read. It was so pretty that I just had to snap a few shots of the quad. I must say, this is something I am definitely going to miss after I graduate. Being able to go to the quad and lay in the sun and read at leisure is so relaxing.. and it's so pretty.

Kim reading "The Lovely Bones"

Me :)

So, the other day while at work, I was super bored. So I picked up and old Rachael Ray magazine and photocopied a ton of recipes. This was one of them that I went home and cooked for me and Chuck. It's ground beef, mushrooms, onions, garlic, pepperoni, cheese and tomato sauce all cooked together and put inside a folded pizza crust. It was delicious :)

So, I'm still pulled in a bunch of different confusing ways regarding jobs after graduation (which is in 19 days! ah!) I don't know whether 0r not to take a job that's on a unit that I don't really want to work on, or to take a part time job and then come back in August with possibly no job at all. I'm so bad at making decisions. Please please keep me in your prayers this week. I'm going to have to make some decisions regarding what to do and I don't know what decision I'm going to make!

Love you all. I hope everyone is having a great Monday and continues to have a good rest of the week!

my life needs to slow down just a bit...

WHOA! I am sooooo behind on blogging. My life seems to run away from me every day to the point where I don't even know what day it is anymore! I was so busy last week working my first 8 days in a row that I basically cut off all communication with the outside world and went to bed at about 9 every night... I'm turning into an old lady :)

So, like I said, I worked my first 8 on last week. It pretty much killed me.. haha. I literally went to bed every night thinking "I cannot believe I have to wake up at 5:30am AGAIN tomorrow!". And then, unexpectedly, my nurse manager told me we were meeting on Thursday, so I ended up working 9 days in a row... wore. me. out. I fell asleep at the dinner table several times on Chuck last week.. ;) It was overwhelming. But now I know that I have to get plenty of sleep this week for my 8 on so I'm not miserable.. haha.

Regardless of the fact that I was worn out all week, I had such a great time on the Peds floor this past week. I've gotten so much better at reading doctor's orders, prepping discharge papers to teach the patients and their family about going home, being confident when administering medications (because giving meds to children is way different than giving them to adults!), and other various things. Plus, being on the floor for 8 days straight allows me to get to know my patients and see them day after day, and then (hopefully) see them get to go home! My children on the floor are really so adorable and I love them to death.. especially the little ones who run to me with their arms in the air when I walk in the door :)

Let's see.. what else happened since my last post. Easter was yesterday and it was actually beautiful outside! For once, it wasn't freezing on Easter morning. I went to church at Shades Mountain in the morning with Mom, Amy, and Emily, and then spent the afternoon at Chuck's house eating lunch with his family and hanging out with him and his parents. For years, we have always done holidays on our own with our own families, but the last 2 years I've eaten Easter lunch with his family, and I love it. We've just never been the couple who shares holidays with each other's families which has never bothered me, but now that I have, I love being with him and his family on those days. And, plus, he got a new shirt and tie for Easter and just looked so cute ;)

The weather here has been head and shoulders better than the last couple of weeks.. and I LOVED getting to lay out at the pool on Friday after my week of work. It was in the 80's and it felt awesome. I'm not the tannest person ever, but whatever.. it's pretty good for me at least :)

Today I applied for a few jobs!! And I called some people and am looking around a lot more, so I'm praying something will open up for me and I will at least get an interview somewhere soon. Please keep me in your prayers, as well. I'm actually looking into being a camp nurse for a summer camp up in Pennsylvania from June 19 to August 15 if something doesn't open up in the Birmingham area for me over the summer. I'll get great pay, they cover the cost of the NCLEX, they pay for the trip up and trip down, I get lodging, and all food is included that's eaten on the campus of the camp. If I did it, it would be me and my friend Kimberly who is also graduating with me in May. She found out about the opening from a friend and it sounds like an amazing opportunity to get more experience working with kids since I want to work in that field anyway. And, plus, I have to have at least some sort of income over the summer, so that would be a perfect solution. And then maybe positions will open up in August when I return. But I'm heavily job searching for the next couple of weeks and if i hear nothing, then I just pay accept the camp nurse position.

Let's see.. what else. Oh yeah.. get this.. my little sister has a BOYFRIEND!!! I know she's 17 and it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's a HUGE deal to us! Emily and Michael sitting in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I... ok that's enough. You get the picture :)

I was a judge this past Saturday for the Hoover Ambassadors, which is an organization in my high school that I was a part of. It's a very prestigious group of people and I was very honored to be a part of it when I was in high school, so going back and judging who would and wouldn't become part of the group for this upcoming year was so much fun. Some of Emily's friends who interviewed said I was even a little bit intimidating ;) I loved being an Ambassador, and it's actually where I met Christina :)

I hope every had such a wonderful weekend and Easter. This week, make a point (and I will too) to just walk outside and soak up the sun and the beauty of how wonderful it is outside and the amazing weather God has blessed us with.. finally!

Love you all!